Why ‘Balanced’ Isn’t Always the Goal—And What to Aim for Instead

Written By: Behind Her Brand

It was 11:42 p.m., and the spreadsheet was winning.

Amira stared at her laptop screen, eyes burning, fingers hovering over the keyboard, too tired to think but too anxious to stop. She was trying to finish the monthly numbers before bed, as she’d missed work earlier to take her mother to the doctor. Dinner had been rushed, her daughter’s science project had taken longer than expected, and now the to-do list sat unfinished, taunting her.

She hadn’t worked out in days. She hadn’t called her best friend back. She couldn’t even remember what she ate for lunch.

Still, she stayed up, pushing toward some invisible goal: balance. If she could just do one more thing… maybe it would feel better.

But deep down, she knew it wouldn’t.

It wasn’t that she lacked time, or energy, or discipline. It was that she’d bought into the myth that everything deserved equal weight. And that if she could just juggle better, life would finally feel like it fit.

It didn’t because balance wasn’t what she needed.

We’ve all heard it. "Find balance. "Work-life balance is key. "She really has it all balanced."

It sounds lovely in theory—like something we’re supposed to strive for. If only we could arrange everything perfectly, the pieces of life would fall into place. Work, family, health, friendship, faith, finances—all suspended in some ideal, color-coded rhythm.

But if we’re honest? Balance often feels like a moving target. One that keeps shifting depending on who’s asking, what season you’re in, or what Instagram thinks it should look like.

So what if balance isn’t the goal? What if the constant pursuit of balance is actually making us feel more off-kilter, not less?

And what if there’s a better, truer word to aim for?

Let’s talk about alignment—and why it may be the real rhythm we’ve been searching for all along.

The Problem With the Balance Narrative

Balance suggests equal distribution.

It implies that everything in your life should be tended to with equal energy, time, and attention. That you can hold everything with the same level of intensity all the time.

But life doesn’t work like that.

• Some seasons require hustle, while others beg for rest.

• Some weeks your family needs more. Others, it’s your business.

• Some days you can manage the laundry and the budget and the inbox. Other days, brushing your teeth and making a meal is the win.

Trying to “balance” everything equally every day is like juggling eggs on a tightrope while someone keeps throwing new ones at you.

It’s exhausting. And ultimately… impossible.

What Balance Often Turns Into

When we chase balance as the goal, we often:

• Over-schedule ourselves to feel “productive”

• Under-value our capacity to be fully present

• Over-apologize for what’s not getting done

• Underestimate how exhausting it is to maintain a curated image of “having it all together.”

It becomes less about how you feel and more about how things appear.

And the pressure to keep everything equally weighted doesn’t allow for life to happen—unexpected needs, shifting priorities, or simply… being human.

Enter: Alignment

Where balance says, “Do it all evenly,” Alignment says, “Do what matters most right now.”

Alignment isn’t about perfect proportions—it’s about intentional presence.

It asks:

• What’s important in this moment?

• What do I need to feel whole and rooted this week?

• What matters more than appearances right now?

• What can I release so I can return to what matters?

It allows your priorities to breathe. It adjusts based on your energy, your season, and your actual life, not the one you think you “should” be living.

Story: The Aligned Week That Didn’t Look Balanced

Take Maya, a marketing consultant and mom of three.

Her week looked like this:

• Monday: She canceled two client calls to take her youngest to a pediatric appointment.

• Tuesday: She worked late into the night on a pitch she’d been excited about for weeks.

• Wednesday: She skipped the gym to have dinner with her sister.

• Thursday: She spent most of the day journaling and resting after a rough therapy session.

• Friday: She didn’t cook—ordered takeout, lit a candle, and took a bath.

From the outside, it didn’t look “balanced. ”But to Maya? It was aligned.

She gave energy where it was most needed. She listened to her body. She prioritized relationships. She delivered great work. She allowed rest.

No rigid formula. Just intentional flow.

Alignment Honors Your Season

Balance doesn’t leave room for grief. Or ambition. Or motherhood. Or menopause. Or creativity. Or chronic illness. Or the days you just don’t feel like being everything to everyone.

Alignment does.

Because alignment doesn’t ask you to be perfect, it just asks you to be honest.

Thought Joggers: Is Your Life Balanced or Aligned?

Use these prompts to check in with yourself:

• Am I doing things out of obligation or out of intention?

• What feels loud in my life right now—and what’s falling silent?

• If I stopped trying to look “balanced,” what would I permit myself to focus on?

• What would alignment feel like in my body, my calendar, and my spirit?

What Alignment Actually Looks Like

It’s not always aesthetic. Sometimes, it’s messy.

Alignment might look like:

• Sleeping in and skipping the email that “can wait”

• Saying no to a client who doesn’t match your values

• Closing the laptop at 3pm because your nervous system needs a break

• Putting off a passion project—not because it doesn’t matter, but because you matter more.

Alignment gives you permission to recalibrate—without guilt, without hustle, without comparison.

Common Myths (and Truths) About Alignment

Myth: If I’m aligned, everything will feel easy.

Truth: Alignment doesn’t erase hard things. It just keeps you grounded in what’s worth doing, even when it’s hard.

Myth: Alignment is for people with less responsibility.

Truth: Alignment is especially for people with more responsibility. It’s how you avoid burnout, resentment, and emotional disconnection.

Myth: Balance is more impressive than alignment.

Truth: Balance can be performative. Alignment is transformational.

What to Aim for Instead of “Balance”

Here are more soul-rooted, grace-filled rhythms that might better serve your life than the elusive chase for balance:

• Clarity – What is mine to carry this week?

• Priority – What actually matters right now?

• Integrity – Am I honoring my needs as much as I honor others’?

• Peace – What brings more of it into my day?

• Sufficiency – What would change if I believed this is enough?

None of those demands that you get everything “right.” They invite you to root deeper into what’s real.

How to Build an Aligned Life

Here are small, steady shifts to move from balance-chasing to alignment-living:

1. Audit Your Yeses

Ask yourself: Did I say yes because it aligned with my values, or because I didn’t want to disappoint?

2. Release the Guilt of Letting Something Drop

Something will always get less of you. That’s not failure—it’s focus. Let it go, without the guilt soundtrack.

3. Build Rhythms, Not Rigid Schedules

Balance work and tight schedules. Alignment honors rhythms—fluidity, ebb and flow, the ability to adjust with grace.

4. Let Your Week Tell a Story

At the end of the week, ask:

• What did I pour into?

• What filled me back up?

• What do I want to shift next week, not because I failed, but because I’m learning?

Final Thought: Trade the Performance for the Peace

You weren’t put here to prove your capacity to do everything.

You were put here to live fully, deeply, honestly.

And sometimes that means showing up wildly for your business. Sometimes that means disappearing for a day and tending to your spirit. Sometimes that means canceling, crying, laughing, resting, working, or recommitting.

But always, it means choosing what aligns, not what impresses.

Forget balance. Aim for alignment.

It’s not about equal distribution. It’s about intentional devotion—to the right things, in the right season, at a pace that honors your humanity.